I am Defected @ Ushuaia Tower, Ibiza

It is 9 pm on a Monday night - our last night in Ibiza - and we're jumping in a taxi with Ibiza Resident DJ Marco Loco, heading to Ushuaia Tower for a rooftop party on this newest and flashiest of Playa del Bossa hotels. Owned by Grupo Empresas Matutes, where apparently money is no object, Ibiza is getting a high-end 300 million Euro facelift - a 'Plan de Excelencia' - and can't you just tell it!  

It's a Defected Record Label party and Marco's DJ friend Sonny Fodera is warming up for House legend David Morales - how very exciting! On the fly-over we look across to see the rooftop party lit up in full swing under the Full Moon. The facade of Ushuaia Tower, adorned with vines of flowers, takes our breath away as we pull up in the taxi; now this will surely be something to behold! 

'The Tower is all about exclusivity and style - and voyeurism! Enjoy the music from two different angles - watch the macro events front row with the rocking crowd at The Club or get an elite, bird's eye view of the action from our roof top Mile-High Club. The choice is yours'  Ushuaia Press

Waiting in the queue we are handed Defected fans with the 'I AM DEFECTED' logo we'd seen on T-shirts all over San Antonio, a welcoming gift to usher us up into the roof top party above. Easily pleased - I've got my new Thailand fan! Wait till I rock up on Koh Phangan with that! - I'm already eyeing up Pablo's and Marco's fans too. The stewardess directs us to the foyer with an efficient smile, where she tells us the lifts will take us up to the 9th floor Mile-High Club pool party.  

But... Not so fast! 
The mafia-like Spanish steward at the head of the queue is made of sterner stuff, however.  He pulls Marco aside, "We're trying to create something more elegant here, unfortunately you're dressed much too sporty..."  

Marco explains that we are on the guest list for Ushuaia Tower this evening, and he's also a Resident DJ at Space Ibiza (rated year after year the best club in the world!). Is there any possibility that we can get in to the rooftop party tonight?  "Sorry, no", comes the stern Spanish accented reply.  

I am Defected?  You are Defected!!!  Marco hands back his fan to the stewardess tending the Ushuaia queue: keep your fan, his gesture says... Oh no, that means I'm down to only two fans for Koh Phangan now!

We Are Defected! 

We certainly are: VIP'd up with one of the island's top DJs, on the guest list to one of the island's most exclusive parties…. 

And we still can't get in!!!  
We were still laughing about it on the plane home to the UK the next morning.


Over pizza in the Playa del Bossa strip we discuss the influx of money, which we think is Russian, yet turns out to be a Spanish hotel chain. How Space Ibiza is on a lease which will end in a few years, and that the owners of Ushuaia are threatening to not only buy the whole lease… but to raze Space to the ground!  Yes, you heard that right, raze the best club in the world to the ground.

Why?  To get rid of the greatest and closest competition to Ushuaia? Or just to build something bigger and 'better'?  As we sat there I began to realise that this evening was indeed a once in a lifetime experience; it could well be the one and ONLY time we get to visit this most famous of super clubs, it's era potentially coming to an end…  

MARCO LOCO @ SPACE IBIZA

With a few hours to kill before we head to Space, it's off to Bora Bora for us instead, where another DJ friend of Marco's is playing.  Bora Bora… was it just the imagery of South Pacific islands that had captured our tropic-loving imaginations? We'd heard people raving about it for years, but yet again we are caught by surprise - as we had been all week on our virgin visit to the White Isle. 

We'd either been delighted by the beauty and opulence of what we'd encountered, or amazed by the absolute averageness of it. Is this it? To first impressions Bora Bora is nothing more than a dilapidated beach shack - move along, there's nothing much to write home about here -  apart from the Bora Bora sign and the Full Moon rising behind it!

... And the Newcastle DJ - Danny O! - banging out some wicked uptempo tech house... And the sausage fest! There's taut bare muscles everywhere, and there's such a lack of females that the guys are taking to 'sandwiching' the fleshy feminine wiles on the tabletops. 

"There's room for you too, Mel, go and join in the sandwich!" says Marco, answering my incredulous expression with, "This is Ibiza - anything goes!" It's the Balearic latino style for sure, but it's too reminiscest of a gay fest to me! Too many short shorts and rippling thigh muscles for me ;)

Then it was on to the highlight of the evening: On Marco's guest list, VIP at Space Ibiza . But how could a superclub holding 12,000 people possibly float our Koh Phangan boats? I could have turned around happily after getting this photo backstage! 

This time, however, we were anything but disappointed!!  

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